Heeey, (: I know its been a very, very, long time, but iv been so busy iv had no time to do anything... only just fitting this in half an hour before work. So anyway, I came back to my mums, it was going great!! I mean of course we had our arguments with two toddlers, two adults & a teenage boy.. who wouldn't argue? Althou, i have really missed living on my own, I miss how me & Roxie use to be us & only us. Is that selfish? Mum asked us to leave, well kicked us out earlier this week, so instead of attempting to make an effort like usual, i decided to put money down on a flat & just go. So that's exactly what i did. Moving on Thursday :D part of me can not wait to be on my own two feet again, but then the other half is kinda scared that Roxies' Dad might make it hell like he did in the last two homes we had. I try my hardest to keep where we live quiet, but in such a small place & the same friends, you can imagine its difficult. At the moment we are being civil, he is paying & got himself a job & we haven't argued in a while, which believe me, that's brilliant for us. With Simon, (Roxies' dad) we both know that we argue & hate each other because we still love each other, if that makes any sense? he tells me all the time & i tell him. I will never stop loving him. I know that. But any way, my dad isn't talking to me now. That's a whole other boring story that i wont waste your time with, cause im nice like that (:
Roxie is still no stop!! Always on the bloody go, im struggling to keep up in my old age!! She has new words every day now, finding something new to climb everyday & seems to get more beautiful each day. I know im her mum & every mum says it but she is absolutely stunning. I cant believe how stunning! Its getting clear that she has inherited her fathers temper tho.. her paddies & strops are unreal! Still beautiful!
i really have to go to work now, really cant be doing getting fired. Keep your fingers crossed for me that i don't come home with drink all of me, :) I do promise to keep up with this maybe not this week but as soon as im settled, & that's a promise!! Hope your all doing well... take caree!! xx
p.s can i just say to a beautiful, talented, amazing young girl, who had been a good friend for years & sadly passed away a year ago today, that she is extremely missed & loved by everyone that had the honour to know her. hope your partying hard up there princess, Shannon, <3 <3
So i have just had my hour long phone call with the mother. I know its only been a few weeks but i feel like im missing out on so much. Danny ( my baby brother ) is walking everywhere, & almost running. when i left he had only just started to find his feet. Ben ( my younger brother ) is going on his first ever holiday abroad with school very soon & i wont be able to say goodbye. I could tell that my mum is very tired & stressed, but as always she trys to hide it. I feel so guilty not being there to help. & to top it all off, i wont be there to see her on mothers day!!! which breaks my heart. I usually buy all of the kids things. Lets say shes a very spoilt women every year! :) Altho, my nan is coming up to manchester for a friends funeral this week so i will be sending money back for Ben to get a few bits, & money so my nan can get my mum some flowers from me & Roxie on the day, :) the thought of not being there that day almost brings me to tears. I need a hug from my mum, one from Ben & a big sloppy kiss from Danny. I need to go home!!
I use to be a huge blogger, back in the day, but then i became a mother, (young i know) i just didnt find time anymore until now. I went onto "piczo" to see my page but saw it was closed down. i was disappointed. Piczo use to be my life. I could get everything off my chest & no one would judge. Iv searched all day to find a blogging site as good as that & came across "Skyrock" so here i am giving it ago, :)
So im a 17 year old single mum, to an amazing beautiful little girl called Roxie. She is absolutely fantasic. I Wont lie or hide anything, as i never have on a blog. Before Roxie was concieved i was a very heavy drink & drug user. It got to the stage the doctor had estimated i had 6-9 months tops. Three weeks after that appointment, i did a pregnancy test with my partner at the time. As soon as it came out positive my heart sank. I knew my life style had to change. I went completely cold tukey. As hard as it was i managed to for Roxie & havent touched anything since, :) . At the time i was living with my partner & had no contact with my family whats so ever, even tho my mum lived 3 miles away. After 5 weeks of knowing i finally plucked up the courage to tell my mum. As you can expect it didnt go down well. we had a little more contact after that, but not much. Untill A few months later when she told me two days before i told her my news she had also found out she was pregnant but didnt tell me as she was bleeding alot at first & didnt know what the outcome would be. & so for her granddaughters & my brothers sake we both agreed to give it ago. & we have been best friends since! I moved out of my boyfriends & moved in with my mum, & younger brother & baby brother. with it being so cramped you can understand that it just didnt work. i moved into my own place when Roxie was 2 months old. We were there for only 7 months, due to serious damp proplems that became unlivable for Roxie. In November last year, we moved into a friend of the family's flat. lets just say it was'nt the most hygynic places & i hated it. At the start of January, my landlord (who owned the shop beneath me & had my gas box in there) turned on me & bullied me everytime i went to put gas on, i wont say it was out of the blue because i knew it was coming. At the begining of last year i had become extreamly close to a couple of lads, they became like brothers. One of their mums is best friends with my landlord & when me & the boys fell out just after christmas they all told my landlord a load of crap to get me kicked out. instead they bullied me out.So i had no choice but to leave. i had no money & neither did my mum or nan, so i moved up to Manchester to live with my dad & save. Which is where i am now. My dad is very good & wont let me pay a penny & the saving is going very well, we just need somewhere to come on the market so we can go home, where we belong. So there you go, Your all caught up. I shall leave you with a picture of me & my beautiful darling daughter, be back soon, :) xx